17 year old female looking for some answers!

There are so many people on here with stories and experiences of SAD and i guess i came on here to try get some answers.
Im a 17 year old girl and i have a feeling i have SAD. I know my dad has it so thats what made me research more into it. I hate winter, i feel so depressed.. apart from those odd days when the sky is blue and the sun is shining when i feel so happy inside.I feel so miserable at college at the moment, dark mornings and evenings, struggle to communicate with people, never go out other than college or work and sit in my room each evenings on my laptop or watching tv. I crave carbohydrates so much, it was only the other evening i had to walk the shop to buy a loaf of bread (ended up eating half of it)and some crisps. I cry some evenings for no reason and i hate it because i know its not really me. My college tutor has noticed a differnce in me the past few months since i started in September.. since the first week of college i got sun burnt!
I only think i have SAD as like i said, the days when the sun is shining and there is not a cloud in the sky, i feel so confident about life and myself.
If anybody else is experiencing things like this id be glad to know =]]
Thanks, Steph

Gosh Amalthea, that really does ring true!!

Steph what you are writing sounds very similar to what I have been through for years. SAD can also run in families so it is possible that you have SAD, but as we are not doctors we can not diagnose for you.. sorry.

As your symptoms are very similar to ours then maybe you might like to find support here for a bit. If you do have SAD you may be feeling a little better in a few weeks - but I bet you know that already what with your dad and your research.

Does your dad have a lightbox?

Take Care flower

Me x

Can you see if you can dig out your dads lightbox?

Me x

I dont live with my dad and only see him once a week, i think im too ashamed to tell him about it. I guess its my self confidence =[[

And just thinking about things, i have felt like this for a couple of years now, so its not as if its just come on this winter.. Also, during december, start of january, I struggled to sleep so much, i was waking up 6 times per night and once morning i couldnt get back to sleep.
Its better now, thankfully!

Me - wow.. one of my worst fears is that I'll look superficial to other people. And, one of the things I value most when looking for friends and even a partner is depth and a lack of superficiality. I've got to really think on what you've said. It's scary, what can be going on that we don't recognize as SAD. I often tell myself, "That's not me talking... that's the SAD talking." It helps to be able to "put a finger on it."

synchrosteph: if anyone is really likely to understand what you're going through, it's another person who has SAD. Your father is probably just as self-conscious about it as you are, and it might help him to know that there is someone else who understands.

The lightbox made a tremendous difference for me. If there's any chance you could ask him if you can have a "trial run" of it to see if it will help you, that'd probably be a good thing to do for your sake.

I used to go through a cycle with friends... every year in Jr. High and High school, I would have a new group of friends. It was the SAD-cycle that was making me shy away from people and then come around again in time to make all new friends.

Me, there was a gathering in the back office at work today and I wasn't included. I thought for sure they were talking about me. I sat in the front feeling really self-conscious and hurt. It turns out they were looking at photographs of someone's travels!

I am a perfectionist. I guess there's hardly anything worse than a "perfectionist SADDIE." I make a mistake, I hate myself and am convinced everybody noticed my mistake, hates me, and will never ever forget that I made the mistake! No matter how small the mistake! I actually sometimes have to pay attention to when other people make mistakes -- tell myself that they're not perfect either, watch how people react to their mistake, and think about how I feel about their mistake... Oftentimes, my perceptions of my mistakes are grossly out-of-proportion! That's just my "SAD brain" talking!

Amalthea, rings so true.

If someone gives me a funny look I become self conscious when Im ill. They probably had wind at the time, but I just think its a look of distaste. When Im well I can rethink my thinking, when ill, it completely gets me down, and incredibly hard to shrug off. Lots of occasions like this and I become a bit of a wreck.

I must again let you know that there is hope because Im hugely better this winter.

Synch..
Glad to hear you are feeling better today. Even if you dont have SAD exercise is brilliant in lifting the mood, particularly when its sunny.

Me x

Yes, I really wish I had friendships that go back years and years like a lot of people do.

The unfortunate thing is, people with SAD may "undo" their social networks that other people take for granted.

Unfortunately, in the wintertime, my lack of strong social bonds tends to make me feel more like a non-person. The lack of energy makes me feel like a non-person. My inability to remember things makes me feel like a non-person.

I used to self-harm because of all that. The pain reminded me that I could still feel something. Haven't self-harmed for years because I know now that it's just the SAD and things will eventually improve.

Me - that happens all the time!!!!!! In fact I had an email from a guy about 10 minutes ago who I just had no idea who he was!! He obviously knew me tho!

Today has been such as miserable day for me, woke up and it was very foggy then went into town (on such a downer) as it brightened up a little and surprise surprise came back with nothing then the fog came back. Just sat here now thinking what a waste today was =[[

I guess now is the time to reflect upon the past two evenings where i have been on such a low that ive had panic attacks - about things i had when i was younger. I hate them and feel so alone, but the thing is, nobody understands how im feeling and if they even try, i cant bring myself to talk about it as it scares me so much, i just want people to be there for me but understand that i cant talk about it!

I doubt many people on here wouold understand but i thought i would say it as one thing leads on to another, and in my case it is the sadness leading on to this!

I've had panic attacks... you get scared to have another and then that just turns into a bad cycle.

Can you go and have a nice soak in the tub? Read a good book... Do a little exercise? The exercise is the best, as it will release endorphins which will make you feel better physically and emotionally.

Hang in there!

Heather

When i finally get paid from work i could probably afford one but by then it will be spring and my problems will be solved (bring on the sunshine!)
Hoping to get out climbing in the Peak District tomorrow so looking forward to some sunshine!
Thanks again for everybodys support

Hi steph it does seem alot like you have s.a.d,
and being pretty much the same age as you im guessing you also get that feeling of not wanting to go out with friends as much as you would when its not winter??
Its good that you now know what your dealing with, most people here have said what will help. But also you have everyone here to support you aswell

So much of what I have read on this thread rings true for me...

especially the part about not believing that your friends truly want to be friends with you. I used to get this a lot (better this year). I too would knock on a friends door too quietly and then berate myself believing that they had heard and were ignoring me. I had an occassion the other week where I went into a shop to see a friend who worked there. I saw him and called his name, but he didn't turn round. I was so convinced that he knew i was there and was ignoring me, that despite standing half a foot behind him, i left the shop without saying another word. The following week I mentioned to him that I had been in the shop and sure enough he didn't have a clue that I had even been there!

Silly SAD!

Minnie,
I also used to self-harm, but I think my last episode was 3-5 years ago or so. When I was in jr. high and high school, I self-harmed a lot.
I did it because I felt so empty inside that I felt reassurance to feel any kind of physical pain. It made me feel like a human being. I guess I also felt that I deserved it, but not because of what I'd done but just for who I am.
Thankfully, the turbulence of my teenage years is over and well-behind me and that helps so much. It's terrible when you're that age and struggling for meaning and to establish an identity but you feel so empty inside! I think I'm more secure in myself now, but there are plenty of times when SAD knocks me back and I feel empty. At least I know it's the SAD and not "me."
Sometimes I'm convinced that people are talking about me. I listen in on conversations more, especially at work. I immediately assume they're about me. I'd love to get some advice on how to stop myself from feeling that way, if anyone else has had success in that. I'm my own worst enemy!

Heather