Sorry excuse for extreme laziness

Hi, I'm the one that was driving to the sun. Well I did, but ran out of money and couldn't work there with no babysitter, so I came home. When I left, my husband was supportive and said he was putting in his transfer notice. But sometime while I was gone he started thinking I was making it all up. I came home to a destroyed house and have been getting worse everyday since I came home on Tues. I have my lightbox and have doubled my antidepressants from the summer dose. Yet I am still spending the day in bed while my kids have to fend for themselves. Then when my husband gets home I leave and go to a movie or sit in my car waiting for him to put the kids to bed. I just can't take them asking me for help and everything like I normally do without question in the summer. I feel so awful about missing six months a year with my kids, I could never put it into words. When my husband asked about dinner as I was leaving tonight and I shrugged my shoulders he looked discusted (and made sure I saw). I really hadn't even thought about it. They hadn't even had lunch for all I knew. In the summer I make sure they eat 3 healthy meals a day. Eating their fruits and veggies ect.....
When I called home later he told me this was just a sorry excuse for exteme laziness and I need to pull my self up. When I got home my daughter told me that daddy had said I was punishing him for not moving us to California. I know how damaging it is to worry the kids about our problems, I know. I just don't know what to do. I want to take the kids and go now, but still have no money to get started. This has been a very bad day ....again

Just a couple more things I thought of, though I don't want to overload you with info.

Antidepressants do not help many people. They can often make you feel worse in a lot of ways, especially if the dosage is increased. Can you connect any of the problems you're having now, e.g. sleepiness, emotional detachment etc, with the time when you increased your dose?

Also, as many here know, I'm a big advocate of the power of nutrition to heal. Eating a wholefoods diet that cuts out sugar and simple starches and emphasises vegetables, protein and healthy fats, can go a long way toward healing the body. (Nutritional deficiencies can also cause mental illness, though often doctors don't think to look for this in a diagnosis; they're not trained even to think of it.) Some good supplements can help a lot too. As can exercise. What's important, I think, is to consider several approaches to depression, as it's so easy (and usually useless) to look for that one "magic bullet" that will make it all better. But it sounds to me like things are getting difficult in your family situation, and have been for some time, though it's been better in the summers. That's why the first thing I thought to mention to you is the link above to the book. It is published in the UK, not generally available in the US, but this site will ship to the US at a reasonable price.

I hope this helps :) Please let us know how you get on.

Linda.

Cotambear, I'm sorry but I can't let this slide, because it hits me rather personally, as well as the other people in my support group who have been on these drugs, been damaged by them, and managed a successful withdrawal only after a great amount of life adjustment and pain.

By saying that ADs work, you are spouting pharmaceutical propaganda. This "research" you cite, if you look deeper, is full of flaws all the way through the trials and the data analysis. Look at what Joel and I have been saying recently. Look up some of the sources I've quoted at various points throughout the forum over the past several months.

Boosting neurotransmitter levels can help some people to feel better, at least temporarily, I have never refuted that. Heroin and cocaine can make you feel good too. This isn't to say that the cause of the problem is low levels of these chemicals, or that boosting them throughout the body is a healthy solution.

I am still suffering long-term damage from coming off my SSRI last April. I recently mentioned a former national-class runner who can barely walk after taking the drugs. I could cite you a hundred other examples of people I know who have suffered drug damage. These drugs are HARMFUL. And going from one to another, trying to find one that "works," increases the stress and damage to the body.

if you want to discuss this further, then by all means locate a topic elsewhere, where I've discussed this, or start one yourself; it's unkind to the lady who initially wrote in to be deviating from what she said. But be aware that if you say ADs are an effective treatment for depression, anywhere in this forum, i will challenge you.

Linda.

Hello Sauve. Thanks for sharing your good news, which I was very pleased to hear. I know the rest of this post is a bit late, but since I put a lot of work into it, I thought I would post it anyway:

It sounds like you are having a really rough time. Strangely, your posts got me thinking, and I’ve realised that every year I especially feel the need to flee around November. In the early years, before I realised I had SAD, I did try running away a few times. SAD can make us do irrational and desperate things. To try and escape, I went as far as: shoplifting supplies (got caught and cautioned by the police); stealing money from my parents (fell apart before I left, and owned up); and using a loan that I obtained fraudulently (dad helped me finally finish paying it off last year). I was young, and felt alone and scared, so reality usually set in before I actually got anywhere. Ironically, my plan was usually to head for the sun (like I subconsciously knew that I had SAD), but the time I got the furthest was using the loan money to follow up a shot at love in Austria – didn’t work out, due to it being SAD season. I might have actually had a better life if I had ever made it to Spain or somewhere sunny? However, I would have hated myself for stealing and cheating. Besides I wasn’t equipped with a good set of coping mechanisms to make it a reality, or to go it alone, in any case.

I’ve only known for a couple of years that I have SAD, and reluctantly I seem to have no choice but to go abroad on my own. Literally I will have to start from scratch, but I am trying to do as much preparation as I can; which is difficult when most experts recommend that we refrain from making big decisions, whilst suffering from the effects of SAD. I don’t even have a partner or kids to worry about, so I cannot imagine how problematic the situation must be for you.

My only advice is pretty much that of Siddy’s (Sorry for my SAD childish behaviour in the past Siddy.). I don’t have a family of my own, so I am probably not the best placed to give such advice. Nevertheless, as one caring human being to another: I think that you and your husband really need to sit down and have a proper talk, like proper adults. I was really pleased to read PacificNorthwestPrisoner’s story and the tale from her husband’s perspective, and I hope that you and your husband can learn something from it. It is time for you both to sort out what you are going to do for the interests of your own family unit. If you really love each other, then you will form a strategy together for the best way to proceed; whether it is trying to stay where you are and getting more help, or moving to California as a family. Above all, talk to each other honestly.

You are not a terrible mom; if you were, you wouldn’t be worrying about being seen as one. However, you do need some love, support, and help. Don’t let SAD destroy your family; work together to prevent it.

All the best

Joel x

Dear Linda,

I will reply to the bulk of your submission later.

However there is one point I will stress. Someone has come to this forum in clear distress. Someone who is currently under the care of (one presumes) of a doctor and is receiving anti depressant medication. I believe strongly that this person needs quickly to return to her doctor and get her medication reviewed. Beyond the empathy and love that has been shown her (by you Linda, admirably, and others), this is the most important piece of practical advice that can be given.
However the strong slant of both your postings Linda was against this, implying that the symptoms were a result of the AD, citing nerve damage caused by AD`s, and proposing a treatment model based on diet.
Linda you have of course the right to follow whatever new faddy diet you wish. But I will not allow your zeal for the latest cult of victimhood, `anti depressant survivors`, to cloud the issue of the immediate support that is needed.
I will not post anymore in this thread, and Linda could we resume this discussion elsewhere.

Dear Suave,

please consider going back to your doctor and getting your medication reviewed - its not a `miracle cure`, but you might be helped.

We're funamentally disagreeing here Cotambear, though I thank you for your tactful response, at least regarding our support here of Suave (the 'victimhood' bit perhaps nonwithstanding).

Please go read the links/sources I recently posted on Antidepressant Info. You believe that I am trying to steer away from help-giving drugs and am offering namby-pambyism. What I'm doing is suggesting the very real possibility that the increased drugs may be part of the problem. Everyone knows ADs have side effects, and that they can increase when the dosage increases. I don't think many would dispute that. The error comes when the doctor decides that the deterioration in symptoms is instead due to a deterioration of the overall condition.

A case in point that I know of. A teenager was put on Lexapro, a powerful SSRI, for depression. Her condition rapidly deteriorated to the point where the diagnosis of bipolar was added, and she was put on more drugs. Any sensible doctor should have considered that the Lexapro could have caused those problems. This is how people end up on cocktails of drugs, and it is not uncommon.

The lady here can by all means consult her doctor. If the doctor is like most other doctors, he/she could suggest she maintain this dosage and give it time, or even increase the dosage, or try another med. Maybe he/she would suggest going back to the original dosage, though this is more rare. I suspect you would feel this is all a sensible approach. I do not. Again, before we say this is my opinion and I shouldn't be pushing it off on others, please do read some of the sources of info I've listed under Antidepressant Info.

People here are telling me that we should all be free to pursue whatever we feel will help us. To each his own. However, if someone came on here saying they were . . . OK, let's use the idea again of getting drunk regularly, as a coping mechanism for depression. Would we all sit here, accept that, and tell this person "Good for you if it works"? I would question people's morals if they did that. Knowing how damaging psychotropic drugs are, I cannot according to my own moral code sit back and say "Great if it works for you," when I know these are drugs that damage the brain and the body. Let me emphasise, however, that the only thing I have said to Suave on the issue is that some of her difficulties could possibly stem from the increased dose of meds.

BTW please ask me elsewhere about how I eat before you tell me I'm going down the new faddy diet route. Changing the way I eat, and taking quality supplements, saved my life.