Thing that depress you..

Loneliness, not fitting in, feeling like life is passing me by, like my life is being wasted.

That kinda stuff. :)

Wahoo thats exactly how I feel.

Cheers guys :)

I find ex bfs really bother me at the moment... I made bad choices by being with them in the first place and I just feel a lot of regret... now I'm with a guy I know I love more than anything it just makes them seem a whole lot worse..

It didn't bother me last summer..

Also.. I think the reason I have SAD is because of my bf... well, he didn't help... he made last winter a complete misery for me, and now it's just a matter of trying to not let him haunt my mind.

To siddy... you went off at me the other day?

Hi Bryan

Heart rending all of that, but good that you got it off your chest. As a wacky misfit (the winter me) I truly empathise.

Perhaps a cunning plan would be to join something in an adjacent town, something from which you would also benefit eg. Tai Chi, Digital Photography classes, a gym, whatever your leaning. This way they are spanking new people for you to get acquainted with and things might blossom from there. I've done a computer course, French, cookery, and sadly, dieting! All with new groups and I have enjoyed them all. True for the most part I joined in the second half of the summer when I could cope with new challenges, but the courses drifted on into the winter and as I was established I managed to keep going.

I am sorry, as it is seriously hard feeling unwanted, though maybe you feel it more than ever as it is a sensitive time of year. Maybe like me, if people know you inside out, they don't ask as you usually refuse, etc. but to be asked and decline, one at least feels wanted hey?

Oh I don't know, I hope that helps, not sequencing all that well this p.m., was fine this a.m. and took a nose dive about an hour ago.

Hang on in there. Julie

Hi Bryan
Sorry to hear your probs but I have to agree with Julie. I am also 29 and I don't make friends very easily. I think sometimes I am very cautious of people so hold back quite a lot. When I was working, I got on great with everybody there but realised at the end on the day, my friends always seemed to be people I worked with. Friends I had out of work were my boyfriends mates, nobody I could actually say was MY friend. Whenever I have made friends, if there is any sign that they might be taking advantage of me (which is pretty easy as I go out of my way to help other people even if that means putting myself out) I end up losing contact with them.
Most people who don't know me very well think I'm the life and soul because I always put on a front and come across as really confidant, but I am far from it. I always used to get people saying to me, "why don't you join a club or something where you will meet people" but it's just not me and the whole thing seems so desperate.
Last year I was sent to a clinic and the doctors there decided to put me into their group therapy sessions that they were running. I thought this was going to be some dodgy place were everyone would be crying and baring there souls and ending with a group hug and sing along (so not me). It was nothing like it, we were all there with the same kind of problems and we all got on so well, we could say things to each other that we could never tell anybody else. I made some really good friends there and we have kept in touch. I also went back to college as a mature student and have become great friends with people from there. In fact, one of my closest friends, I met at college a year ago this week.
My computer has been out of action for nearly a year and I only got it back about 3 weeks ago. Last week I decided to catch up on a few people by e-mails. A couple of them are people I've known from way back but haven't spoken to in ages but most are new friends. I joined friends reunited as well and found a boy I used to go to school with. We used to be best friends when we were about 6 and were always at each others houses. No romantic involvement whatsoever and never will be, but we were born on the same day and always told people that we were twins. I was just adding peoples names to my address book as I wrote to them. When I went to send an e-mail the other day, I was shocked to find just how many people were in my address book and these were genuine friends, I've never had so many in my life and if I can do it there is no reason why you can't.
I know it's probably harder to make friends being male but doing courses, as Julie said, is great.
You can do short courses on things you just like as a hobby, it doesn't have to be anything to do with your career. If you are learning about your interests so will other people and this alone will give you something in common with them. Plus you don't feel obliged to have to "make friends" because you are there for other reasons. Over a few weeks, you just find things progress and you get involved in conversations. Friendships do need working on though, I've let a few of mine slip, but getting back on track now. You may also find, if you are not around as much for the friends you do have, to call on you whenever they feel like it, they may start to appreciate you more. You may even find you don't need them. Please look into something along these lines, it's very hard to make the first step and remember, if you are on a course which is just starting, so is everyone else, so there isn't really any need to feel left out. If you start with a short course, you have nothing to lose. They can be inexpensive and if you don't like it, it won't last long but it can give you a great confidance boost to get out there and do something for yourself. My short course has ended up with me now doing a 3 year course. If you can't face that, you can always join a yoga class, which plenty of men do, and you can learn some inner peace, which quite frankly is best done on your own anyway. In the mean time, I'll be your friend and I'm sure plenty of others on here will too. Most of us seem to be a mad bunch, SAD but happy with it.