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zizillia
joined 24 Sep 2006
17 posts

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Posted by zizillia, 10:36 11 October 2006

Hey...
I have had SAD for 4 years and every year I think I can control it and still work hard. This year is the worst I'v ever had and I am finding it absolutely impossible, I have so many commitments. I am acting landlady on my mums house as she is too ill to do it herself, I have to go to uni & hoping to get a 1st so meant to be working hard, I have to work as I am broke plus I am moving out in 3 weeks and all in all I cant do any of it! I am feeling sick at the idea of leaving the bedroom and have managed to become ridiculously behind at uni, I haven't started packing and I called in sick to work yesterday! Things are not looking good...
I know that I have to get on with it but I really want to crawl into bed and cry til I sleep... My mum has been signed off work for 2 weeks as her symptoms are so bad but thats not an option for me. Really feel like Im not coping, my counsellor says I need to cut myself a break and allow myself time to relax but I feel like im running out of time and have to do something soon or my whole life will become totally messed up and then I'll have to work even harder to catch up on it.
I only have reading to do for uni at the moment but in 2 weeks I have presentations and after that its essays and REAL WORK ... If i cant cope with reading how am I going to cope with that? I am terrified of losing my job but almost hoping I will so I can sleep more...
To make things a hundred times worse my boyfriend implied that he didn't believe me about SAD ... we have lived together for 2 years and are moving out to a new flat together so to hear that he thinks I have no reason to be depressed and should basically snap out of it .. is horrendous! Help ... :-(

megj
joined 2 Oct 2006
62 posts

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Posted by megj, 12:28 11 October 2006

Three weeks and you haven't started packing yet? I don't think I've ever started packing that early, and I've moved a lot! Definitely give yourself a break on that one. Go for 'little wins', like packing something each day - start with things you don't use so you don't really notice it happening.

I don't have the most understanding b/f in the world either, so I understand where you're coming from. See if you can get him to read about it a little bit - I think the booklet produced by Mind is excellent. You can read it here.

Do you have a good relationship with your tutor/mentor at uni? It's worth talking to them about what you're going through. I cried on my mentor a number of times - I wasn't diagnosed at the time and looking back I think it would have made a difference to know that it was a genuine problem.

The landlady stuff is another strain, but hopefully shouldn't take up too much time - only do what you absolutely *have* to do legally.

Think about getting signed off work...you say it's not an option, but are you 100% sure about that?

I hope your mum recovers.

zizillia
joined 24 Sep 2006
17 posts

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Posted by zizillia, 00:05 16 October 2006

Hey,
thanks for your reply. I had a proper cry at my boyfriend the other day. Not sure he understands anymore but at least Ive got it out of my system! The main problem with the landlady thing is that 1. its for my mum so if i dont get the money i know im upsetting her finances and 2. the guys living there are my friends and its hard when they mess me around and sadly 3. i live there.. or at least i will for the next two weeks!

Ive spoken to some people at uni and altho im not going to accept any extensions as i just get more behind and stressed they have allowed me to refuse all un-assessed work to concentrate on the important stuff. However work isn't so good coz work is sadly 'temporary contract' which means that altho i have worked there for 2yrs i dont get sick pay & im so broke I cant take time off!

trying v.hard with looking after myself tho .. so hopefully all will get better!

Seasonally Apathetic & Disillusioned
joined 24 Jul 2005
335 posts

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Posted by Seasonally Apathetic & Disillusioned, 14:37 16 October 2006

Hi Gemma

I know that this information maybe irrelevant, and you may not want to rock the boat at work; however, at least for the benefit of other students struggling, I feel the need to post it.

Some employers will misinform you, possible out of ignorance, but also due to their own financial motivations.

All types of employees (fulltime, part-time, temporary etcetera) in the UK are entitled to similar statutory rights.

The sick pay policy of your employer will be in your contract. Not all will pay you anything other than any entitlement to Statutory Sick Pay, under your sick pay rights.

If you earn currently over £84 per week gross (average over 8 weeks), then you may be entitled to Statutory Sick Pay (SSP). The rate of SSP is currently £70.05 per week, which may not be as much as your usual wage, but every little helps.

Even as a fulltime student, you may also be entitled to other benefits if you suffer from a disability (metal illnesses including depression are classed as disabilities).

To get the help you need to have medical proof – you will have to have your condition recorded in your medical records. Things are currently being done to combat discrimination against the mentally ill when they apply for employment. Therefore, soon you will not have to openly declare your previous mental illness when applying for a job, in order to gain the maximum protection from disability rights legislation once in work.

Joel x

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