anyone know?

Yup...

Living in a bubble. Things are happening around you but you're not involved.

Having a thought and not being able to keep hold of it or losing it in among the other billions of thoughts

This is something I wrote a while back

In the winter I seem incapable of processing my thoughts, I seem to end up with a mess of random thought 'pieces' and can't find the beginning or get to the end (and answers) of anything.

I think I also did a big waffle about how my head feels like a file that used to be well organised but at some point 'something' has happened and all I have in winter is a heap of papers with scribbles, ripped and chucked in a drawer and I can't make sense of them.

Anyway, there are other symptoms to SAD and it is worth reading up on it and reading through the past posts on this forum- purely and simply to get first hand stories of how SAD feels. When the symptoms are dressed up in medical speak it's sometimes hard to identify with. But when others talk about feeling sick in september, messed up thought processes and not wanting to be sociable but not wanting to be alone it feels so good knowing that whilst you are feeling like a freak - there are other freaks out there (no offence intended folks).

What I mean is - most times you can find a handful of ways to help deal with things. My big thing is making lists of things to do today. I have a minimum of 1 health, 1 house and 1 self
e.g.
1. lightbox (compulsary!) -health
2. wash dishes - house
3. read - self

if I achieve those three I feel good and slightly less useless- I aim to do 6 things. And knowing that if I put the dishes away after I've washed them counts as a second big tick in the house stakes (sadly) makes me proud. In winter I have to be proud of the small things in life. Because lots of small things add up to big things in the end!

Totally understand what you mean!!!

Even as I type this, I get all my words mixed up & have to re-type it, gosh it is so frustrating!!! :? :? :? :? :? :? :? :? :? :? :? :? :?

Sometimes when asked something at work, I look at them blankly and I frown because I can't get to grips with the answer, it all becomes too much to talk!!!

Luckily most of them know about my SAD & I just say to bare with me, it's my SAD making me unfunctional & they are usually ok by this. Hard luck if their not is all I can say ( have got more confident about being open about being a SAD sufferer over the last couple of years!) This helps one not to get too angry with one's self :wink:

Keep going :D

Well today i have had a good day, I managed a decent amount of exercise and luckily it was a sunny day up here in Grim Yorkshire. Most of last week I was struggling to finish a sentence It can be a rollercoaster and your esteem is most likely affected by your mood and inability to achieve tasks you can normally perform without question..... does this sound familiar :?:

Bert,
I too know what you mean about feeling removed. It is a common symptom of depression in my experience. I think that I suffered from 'classical' depressive bouts in my early 20s and then SAD set in a bit later. I now find that with the SAD/winter type of illness I get tiredness and achiness more than the depressive thoughts. But when I was younger and had 'ordinary ' depression I had no real physical sympotms, but often felt removed from people. I also used to think that I felt different inside my self from everyone else. I could remember back to before I was depressed (childhood and teens) and desperately wish I could feel normal again and be like everyone else. I still feel like that sometimes, but now that I am married with kids and don't socialise that much I notice it less.
I find the forum really reassuring and I am sure you will too.