interesting days

Don't worry about sharing your problems, we might all have our own but they are sort of connected. It might sound selfish but if I feel really bad and just want to rant, I don't read anyone else's messages, so must be feeling ok now :lol:
Anyway, as for the going out bit, I had the same problem tonight. Me and the other half were invited to a club which he told me about yesterday. First I said I wasn't going but then I thought, I'll only be sitting in all night while everyone else is out having a good time so I'll go. I knew if I stayed in I would start beating myself up over it and have a damn good binge but I am overweight and new I would be worrying about looking fat all night and feeling uncomfortable but I never go out.
Then I spoke to my boyfriend this afternoon and he said he wasn't feeling well and did I mind if we didn't go. He knows how I feel anyway so I told him straight that I had been dreading it so it was fine. As it is, I've stayed in all night by myself but I'm quite happy because the decision was taken away from me. The weather is really crap too and I was just thinking how nice it is to not be outside.
Are you sure your boyfriend is getting fed up with you being miserable (your words) or is it that you are just very down on yourself.
I asked my boyfriend earlier if he was only not going because he was too ashamed to be seen out with me (even though I know this is rubbish as we've been together for 4 and a half years) but the silly thoughts still go through your mind. If he isn't very understanding, have you tried explaining to him, print some stuff off and show him. If he doesn't want to know then maybe he will be bringing you down even more. I don't want this to sound harsh and upset you in any way, and please say if this has offended you but I have found, with my step dad for example, although he's getting better now and has looked into this more, he used to make me feel really bad because he didn't understand and this always made me feel so much worse, I couldn't stand being around him.
If, on the other hand, your boyfriend is one of the very lucky people who has never suffered any form of depression, he could be feeling really left out because he just doesn't understand and this can come across in all sorts of ways - boredom, no interest and uncaring to name but a few.
Try showing him some stuff about it and you may find he will react differently and reasure you more. My boyfriend has never had any kind of depression and if I'm feeling low, he can seem very unthoughtfull and my mind will start racing. If I let it get out of control, I've decided we've split up before I've even spoken to him. He is not like that at all, he's the caring and thoughtful person I have ever known, it's all in my head. Now days I've come to accept that if he goes out with his mates or seems to busy to talk, it's not because he's gone off me but although we are together, he still has his own life just as I have.
Talking is usually the answer to any problems, give it a go
Hope you feel better soon bunny
Night night
Karen x

That sheds a whole new ligtht on then, bless him.
My boyfriends mate suffered from depression and some days, I would go out of my way to avoid him because I would feel so on edge around him, plus he was the kind of person who would forget we all had problems and would go on and on about his own, about how hard done by he was. To be quite honest, most of the problems he had were created by himself anyway, which may sound really hard, but it's very true. He's the kind of person you would really have to know and then you would agree. My mum also suffers with it and sometimes if my mums down, I have to go out. I can be so happy but just 5 seconds around her and I hit rock bottom again and she's the same with me. In someways it's good being with someone who understands it first hand but it can be just as good with someone who's never had it. My boyfriend sort of knows how to cheer me up a bit now, but there are times, like January, when he could do nothing. This really stressed him out because he felt as though he wasn't doing enough and I had to explain that it didn't matter what he did, it wouldn't help. Then, just as you said, I started to think he would get fed up with me and worry even more.
One day, in the future, this will all be a distant memory, that's what I'm hanging out for!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hope you had a good day. I'm just home from college and found out today that I actually passed the exam I was sure I'd fail. Still don't quite know how but who the hell cares. I'M BIG HAPPY :P