No fun!

I haven't posted on here in a while but suddenly felt the need to vent my spleen.
I foolishly tapered off my SJW and cut back on the evening light session thinking the good weather was on it's way. It was't!!
It's been overcast for a while and my symptoms have returned with a vengeance. It has been sometime since i've felt like this and it got me thinking- does everyone else feel like this? Is it really SAD and not some under lying illness compounded by SAD?
Anyway i'll give a brief description of how I feel when the clouds roll in and see if anyone can relate( I know all this has been done/said before but i need my mind put at rest!)
Disturbed sleep but not excessive. Wake up feeling really tired and all joints stiff/ aching especially back, sore muscles, sore eyes etc.
Really spaced out feeling like i'm too tall and my vision is not crisp and focused like it should be. Speach is more of an effort and words disappear from my vocabulary which can cause hesitation. Low mood, lethargy, heavy limbs especially legs and feeling hot quite a lot with flushes to face.
Depending how overcast it is and length of bad weather obviously effects severity of symptoms. Socialising can become too much of a chore, one on one is manageable but group conversation can overload the cpu !
Another strange thing- before I had tapered my SJW and i was quite stable I could feel there was going to be some bad weather coming or even a period of heavy overcast skys hours in advance ( without checking the weather obviously!) Even if it was gloriously sunny I would get an uneasy feeling a bit spaced out and sure enough hours later the bad weather or leadened skys would arrive. Now if i was a cave man that would be bloody handy but since i'm a modern man it aint!

Even as i'm writing this it seems clear to see i'm badly effected by the weather, I'd just like some feed back from people as to whether this tallies with their symptoms or do you think there maybe under lying problems?

Thanks in advance for any replies,
Regards OBE

Hi ya, just thought Id add my usual tuppenny in.

I too get most of the symptoms. I have come to terms with my varying feelings by describing myself as a rechargable battery. Yes I do feel better when the sun comes out, but the sun has to also recharge my battery. I have to have a good number of sunny days to be ok on a dull day. But if there are a number of dull days I have to hope that my batteries have sufficiently charged up else I start by getting:-

tiredness during the day
delays in getting to sleep at night
cravings for sugar for energy
shattered in the mornings
not motivated

These move onto:-
forgetfulness
unable to complete sentences
MORE CARBs
Weight gain
Not wanting to socialise
Moody and flat
give in to my 'cant be bothered to do anything' attitude
Feeling that people hate me!!

...........basically depression I suppose.

I did top up my serotonin with 5HTP before and after christmas and that gave me the feeling that my batteries had been recharged without the sun. I have a very social time time then and felt great. I stopped because I was feeling a little dizzy (if I remember correctly) and didnt feel I needed it any more. I liken this to feeling this my batteries were fully charged and I had had enough. Best to check out info on 5htp before taking it, it has a little history!!

I cant recommend exercise everyday (awful I know) highly enough. I have managed to get through the season pretty well this year after a very rough start when I burst into the doctors in floods of tears and feeling the lowest of lows.

Diet can make a difference too.

Trouble is, these things are possible and although they can work very well, they are hard when we dont feel motivated. It also takes a large chunk of time which is not always possible.

Having had SAD for as long as I remember, even before it was given a name, this is the first year I seem to have it half under control. So I have to swear by diet and exercise and sun too!!

If it doesnt subside, any visit to the docs maybe in order. Take care and do some exercise. Golf would be good! Just an idea

Me x

So can you explain about your blood test a bit more please Suzie?

I would love to get a blood test done just to confirm that I'm actually ill!

I still get that guilty feeling as if its all lie or something.

Sounds similar to what's going on with my girlfriends and her thyroid troubles.

I'm a big softy and am squeemish! I guess you get used to it after a while?

As time goes on I'm starting to realise that it's most definitely depression.

I just have to realise that the guilt feeling is part of the illness.

OBE

I decided to try 5htp after reading through some threads on this forum back in October last year. I then read all I could about it on the internet, consulted with my doctor and decided (as I was so desperate at that point) to go ahead. My doctor said it worked the same way as the antidepressant (that she had put me on and taken me off) but it worked more directly - what ever that meant. She also said that a few other patients had preferred to take 5htp, but gave me no safety guidelines alas.

I bought it from a health food shop. Cant remember exactly how much I took, it will be on this forum thread history somewhere oct/nov time last year - check it out. I decided to take less rather than more though.

As I said before, it was great for me until i'd had enough - but ive still got some stuffed in a cupboard just in case that horrible rock bottom feeling comes back!

Don't take it with other antidepressants
take care

Me x

Hi OBE, I don't get the aches and pains but I do get the spaced out feeling and forgetfulness. I've been going to the supermarket and completely forgetting what I went in for, then wandering around in a dream trying to remember what I need to buy! I also get low mood, lethargy, lack of motivation and wanting to be on my own.