Should I just move to Spain?

Hello Sunseeker,

Sorry to hear how you are feeling. I think I can talk for most of us on this forum when I say we understand what you are going through. Doesn't make life easier though does it?

I have suffered with very bad SAD for at least 25 years and like most, cannot bare the thought of another winter to struggle through. In September, I had my first (very bad) panic attack of the winter. I knew that this year was going to be my worse because I had made up my mind, I couldn't go on another day like this. I was suicidal and couldn't think straight.

For the first time, I swallowed my pride and saw my GP. I asked to be put on Anti-depressants and am so glad I did. For me, the lightbox wasn't enough. I had used it everyday for weeks but this time it didn't help.

What you need to do is find what is right for you. Do you have a lightbox? If so, does it work?

For me, I needed more help that other years. This christmas I felt at ease for once. I have been able to walk into supermarkets without any anxiety which for me is a first. The anti-depressants have given me a new lease of life. I still get very tired and a bit low due to the weather but I found the panic attacks were the worse part of SAD for me.

Do you have a supportive family/friend you can talk to?

Are you already using a lightbox? Some people find this enough.

You mentioned about moving to Spain. Would you really be happy there? You have a lovely home here? Do you know anyone there? Also, I think they still have gloomy days too.

I do hope this post helps you. Its so awful when you feel so bad and feel there is no point going on. This forum is here and we are all here to help and support each other.

Let me know if you do use a lightbox or anything eg (st johns wort) and hopefully we (the forum) can give you some helpful advice.

Take care
Donna.

Hi Sunseeker,
You did not state whether or not you are receiving any treatment for SAD because if you do have sad and are getting the appropriate treatment, you should not be feeling as down as you describe, so I do not see where moving to Spain is going to do you a whole lotta good. On the other hand though, if you have SAD and are not receiving treatment, then you need to get the help that you need before you take such a drastic measure by moving to Spain. I know that you probably do not believe this now, but things can and will get better if you seek treatment but you need to get the appropriate treatment which is different for each individual who suffers from SAD.

Anyway, I hope this helps and I hope that you are feeling better soon.

Donna (USA)

ok after 3 laptop crashes, and not being logged in, when commenting twice, im going to keep this short.

Thanks for the comments.

I cant afford to go spain. so im going to stay here and hibernate.

Dont do meds, makes me ill.

no treatment, so far.

going to focus on diet and exercise.

sorry for shot words, but at end of teather.

Thanks Donna.

Lightboxes cost a fortune! £300 is alot of money, and the smaller ones are not hitting the 10,000 lux, that the studies base their findings on.

I am seriously considering buying one, but I am still contemplating which bank to rob!

Really, the NHS should be able help with the cost of this. They dont. But they would happily supply expensive drugs, at times without due care.

I think if i could sleep properly, that would be a great help.

Is it me, or does anybody need to sleep for about 2 hours, after a short walk in this weather in England?

Going south will temporarily diminish your symptoms they will probably reappear rapidly 10 days after you return north (and sometimes it may be worst - due to a biochemical rebound effect).
I have been very depressed after holidays sometimes.
I have lived 3 months in Turkish Cyprus, it wasn’t long enough to get used to the strong sun. I have never been more depressed,(but i have never been more in trouble also).

Hey.
I'm glad to hear that some of you have found suitable treatments or solutions to your symptoms but also completely empathise with those that haven't. I went on holiday in July to Greece and when i returned to the grey dark UK i was amazed at how quickly i sank into my SAD state it was frightening. I seemed to tread water for a while and then met a girl which picked me up for a couple of months but i was struggling to fight off the ever increasing symptoms and subsequently we finished.
I took this quite badly as it reaffirmed how this illness has such a massive grip over my life and no matter how many times i think i've got things under control this THING comes around the corner and gives me a kicking once again!
So anyway, foolishly I agreed to go out with this girl again before christmas which i thought would be a good idea, and it was going really really well but sadly it ended just after the festive period partly i suspect due to my SAD.
I took this really badly again which is a disproportionate response to the length of time we were going out but i think it just brings home how difficult i find the everyday workings of life with this crap ruling over me for 8 or 9 months of the year.
I've kept off the drink and been exercising regularly with plenty of walks with the dogs etc but finding it hard to keep a clear head and remain stable anyway when i got out of bed this morning i felt very low and when i got to work i was welling up and overcome with emotion. I couldn't stop crying and did so for 2 hours quite bad at times which is a horrible feeling for anyone but especially when you're a big strapping bloke. Nobody saw but i managed to disappear home feeling completely ashamed and full of guilt and at a loss as to how i can combat this for good... I know i need to emigrate but it feels like such a large leap the way i feel most of the time.
Right i'm off for a walk in the sun with the dogs. I apologise for the rant but i just needed to unload.
Hope you are all well,
regards OBE

Its 2.00a.m. I sort of snapped at my partner this evening when I could have phrased it so much better. Today I forgot to take my elderly mother shopping, something I've done weekly for ages. Paranoia has become a creeping problem, I keep losing things, and my line of thought. Anxiety is rampant, and winning, despite my efforts to rationalise my thoughts. This is the worst I have ever known it, and like you, OBE, I can no longer tolerate this crap ruling my life.
For some years, like Roger, I have been taking a holiday just before the years' end, but, notably, not this year. I always felt better for a while after and this temporary relief made me feel it was justified. On the strength of that, I have bought a place in Spain - a vineyard with a small casa by a river. I intend to spend future winter months there when restoration is complete.
I can think of no other answer.

Well i've got that all too familiar feeling that i've stepped into the darkside... Conversations are now really forced and when i'm not consumed by trying to retrieve basic words from my sponge like brain to construct a fluent sentence i'm obsessively thinking about how every aspect of my life resembles failure...
This is like a slow death...the frustration is all consuming to witness on a daily basis people who are less intelligent, ignorant and generally unpleasant sail through life changing jobs, getting married, moving home apparently effortlessly whereas I currently find a humorous conversation with friends wick with anxiety.
Hey Donna thanks for your kind words and i'm pleased you're relatively well. I've tried several ADs years ago and i swore I'd never voluntarily take them again, too many nasty side effects. I'm currently taking 3 to 4 high strength SJW, super strength omega 3, vit B complex and gold multi vit. I also take valerian to help me get a reasonable sleep as i'm one of the few who has a short disrupted sleep with early waking rather than over sleeping.
Think i better call it a night as i'm ranting.
Sir serotonin, one word... jealous! >go for it.
Hope you're all as well as can be expected,
Regards OBE

Hi sunseeker,

You mentioned how expensive light boxes are which is something that has stopped me buying in the past. Yesterday i was looking through Amazon sale to see if they have them at half price(i get so much in the sales i couldn't otherwise afford.)

I came across a very tiny 'starter' light pad by therapy light using the new blue light tubes. Its 5000 lux but research has shown blue light is much more effective then white and this is why these products run at a lower lux lvl and also makes them more portable.

I'm buying now and hoping for the best. Will try and keep all updated.

Info on blue light:
http://www.sad.co.uk/resources/blue-light-or-white-light.htm

info on the box, treatment times, size etc:

Fingers crossed. P:
Btw white light boxes at an effective lux lvl start from around £110 not £300. Also has anybody used this box or any with blue light? Pls tell us/me your experiences!