I think I have SAD

Its either that or I have depression. However as its come over me since the clocks went back I'd say it was SAD.

I am trying to get an appointment with my GP(although i'd rather not as he'll just have a moan I haven't been to see him about my Type 2 diabetes recently)

These last few weeks have been the worst I have felt in a long time, and there is no really good/obvious reason for it.

I work as a van courier in London, so see plenty of what little daylight there is at the moment.

Its becoming more of a struggle getting up each morning, I hate having my morning coffee and cig in the dark, its S*** to be frank, they don't have their usual effect on me. And as the afternoon drags on, and the sun starts to drop, I start getting more miserable, more lethergic, I get suicidal thoughts (and not normal ones either, today it was strapping dynamite to myself , not that i have any, and blowing up various groups of people I hate up with me , xmas shoppers, BNP, Man united glory hunters, etc)

I've thought about starting a journal of all the wierd thoughts I get, incase I have to see a shrink, because I have a poor memory. Or the odd things that happen, which are out of the ordinary for me.

Hopefully I'll get to see my GP soon, but in the meantime I've picked up some St. john's wart and some multivitamins in the hope they might do some good till I can see my blasted GP

Well, a visit to your GP is a good start. The symptoms of SAD can indicate all kinds of things.

GP would check history. SAD diagnosis isn't confirmed by medical profession untill you've presented with symptoms for so many years in a row.

Anti-depressants aren't necessarily the right course of treatment for everyone, though I have to admit that they have helped me, but I hate the side effects but can live with them, I know that not everyone can.

I'm very woolly headed at the moment, but I think that the medication is to blame as well as the condition.

I have light therapy every day, which is helpful.