really struggling again.

Hi Debbie
Arrggh I just wrote a really long reply to your post then hit the back key and lost it.
Anyway it was just to say I know where you're coming from, I have very similar problems and find it impossible to enjoy the 'festive' season and go out with friends and family.

Fortunately I've had this for so long now that my immediate family understands (although they don't like it much!) and I made a point of telling all my friends and extended family a couple of years back and explaining that SAD is NOT the same as feeling a bit down because its winter. Now some of them at least are more understanding and helpful, they don't expect me to go out and don't comment if the house is a mess (or try to clear up and do it for me, which I find even worse as it makes me feel very guilty!), Sometimes one of them will ring me and chat, which I can do even if I'm in my pjs by 6pm, or they'll come round and bring soup or something. They know not to bother after 8pm or before 11am. I still don't feel sociable but they are OK about it and I do find that it does lift my mood, because I'm thinking about something else for a whilte - SAD can make you very introspective and that's not good when you are depressed.

It is really hard to get up and out, but if you use your lightbox every day, not just when the weather is dull, you will find after a couple of weeks it is getting easier, even if this doesn't lift the depression it will help you get up and moving. I use mine every day now at 9am after I've brought the kids to school and am feeling ready to go back to bed, I do my emails with the light on for an hour, then generally feel ok enough to go do something.

I think diet plays a big part as well, I really struggle to avoid the biscuits, crackers, sweets and chocolate but I know they are so bad for me mentally as well as physically that on days when I'm feeling OK I make loads of fresh vegetable soup, then put some in the fridge and freezer for the next few days. Each time I get the carb cravings I have a small bowl of soup instead (thank god for the microwave) and it often makes me feel better. I do the same with stews and casseroles once a week and have enough food to keep me going for quite a few days, I still resort to biscuit binges but I can control that by only buying ones I don't like that the kids will eat. If I have to go out and drive to the shops to get my carb fix I generally think twice about it, especially if I will have to get dressed first!

As you may have guessed today is quite a good day for me, but I know tomorrow I could be plunged back into the depths of it again, just try to ride this rollercoaster and do things on the days you can and not fret about housework, nobody is going to give either of us a medal for having a clean and tidy house when we are ill.

Take care, Helen xx

thankyou for your lovley replies, today is much brighter here in north west england, and ive managed to clean my guinea pigs vacume start the washing and hope to venture out to do some shopping, its so weird how the weather can effect us suffers and the long dark evenings, i too say roll on march, i find i clock watch alot on down days and so relived when another week has passed, to me december is the biggest hurdle of all, love debbie.

dear sadmrssmith, i agree entirley middle of december is really daft to be expected to enjoy yourself, i say lets move it to june, i managed to get to the shops but after a real struggle, it was around 3ish, and the sun was getting lower, and i was so fed up in asda couldnt wait to get home, i do hope you have coped today? its good to have this forum it really does help me to share my sad with others, take care debbie.

dear helen, yesterday i managed to drag myself around my local shopping centre, to my annoyance slade its christmas was booming in the shopping mall, already the lights have been switched on, im actually up really early due to disturbed sleep, sad no doubt, i do find these really long periods of darkness my worse fear, i find it a pleasure to share all my experiences with you, its making such a difference, thankyou so much, please take care, hope you survive the weekend, sunshine predicted, debbie.

dear helen, thankyou for your reply, i had to laugh when i read you had shopped on ebay, ive spent the whole of the weekend shopping for xmas gifts on ebay, to avoid the shops, just couldnt face it at all, i have found it much more enjoyable, yesterday i had my light box on whilst cleaning my bedroom, which i achieved, never go to do the bathroom, has soon has the dark arrives i tend to shut down and just go so tired, around 5ish, i do enjoy our communication, love debbie.

Hi Lynn,
Welcome to the forum - you are certainly not alone! I'm so sorry to hear about you losing your husband; it must be very hard to cope, and must make going through the throes of SAD even harder. It's good that you have a supportive GP. Maybe the psychologist will also offer you different ways to cope.
If you haven't tried a light box yet, do try and acquire one; it's made a huge difference for me. I have a LitePod, which is fairly compact and easily moved from room to room. They are quite expensive, but it has paid for itself several times over as I haven't had to take time off work because of SAD since buying it.
Don't feel guilty about moaning; you can't help how you feel! But do try and do things that will make you feel more upbeat whenever you can.
Take care of yourself, and let us know how you're getting on.
Linda

Hi Lynn and welcome from me too, it must have been a very difficult time for you losing your husband. All bereavements take a long time to heal and when you are suffering with SAD it makes it so much harder. My mother died suddenly 7 years ago in May, I made it through the summer but every winter since its like starting the bereavement/grieving process all over again. It's one more layer adding to the deep darkness of SAD.

Be kind to yourself, and don't beat yourself up about cravings, we all get them and all feel guilty but it is not greed it is your body thinking it needs to store up for hibernation! I am dreadful with this, all summer I'm on salads and seeded bread then as soon as the clocks go back i'm noshing through 6-packs of white rolls and sneaking out at night to buy haribo and jammie dodgers. The next morning I feel so guilty I eat nothing but vegetables all day and make loads of soup. Having single-portion soups and stews in the freezer that I can quickly microwave helps with the cravings, or try to switch to something like plain popcorn, less calories but just as tasty and you can eat it by the bucketful. :-)


Lightboxes work for most people, though not all. Lumie offer a 30-day trial which allows you time to see if it works for you, so this might be a good option. There are several types so make sure you get a lightbox that suits your lifestyle; if you're always on the go or travel a lot a portable LED box is a good idea (mine is an Apollo M2 GoLite, its cordless/rechargeable and it's small enough to fit in a shoulderbag). If you tend to stay in the same place, one of the larger white light boxes might be better. Make sure the one you get has at least 10,000 lux, anything less is not likely to have much effect.

Don't expect miracles from the lightbox, it has its uses and for people with mild SAD may be enough but you may well find it helps in some ways but doesn't rid you of the SAD completely. However, it sounds as though you have an understanding GP - thankfully as they are hard to find - so ask him/her re medications or alternatives such as herbal remedies, to make sure anything you take doesn't interfere with any other medication you may already be on.

The psychologist should be helpful but make sure the one you are allocated has experience with SAD, not just bereavement/depression counselling, and if not ask to see someone who has.

Lastly, use this forum, as Debbie says it is very helpful and friendly, nonjudgmental and and a good place to both sound off and seek help. We're all here for you. Take care.
Helen xx

dear helen, lynn, hope you are well, again im up later due to sad, ive managed to go to the local asda, but could not wait to return home, its been a pretty dull day today, and by mid-afternoon it was going dark, i hope seeing a phsycologist helps lynn, my therapist has helped me, but the most of the sessions where in spring/summer, now ive one more left and thats my lot, this is when i need counciling the most. Tonight i feel a bit on edge, and trapped, because of the length of darkness, i too get so tired even after attempting to do the smallest of tasks, but i force myself, its not easy, i do hope you are feeling a little better today, and helen is too, i enjoy sharing my sad on this forum, its good to know im not alone, its a very disabling illness, debbie.

Hi guys sorry to hear you all seem to have had a bad couple of days, me too. I've started getting really crushing migraines in the past week, I am wondering if it is a reaction to the 5HTP tablets or the lightbox as I've been using it more and more to stave off the depression. I've been taking migraleve but you are only allowed it for 3 days at a time so yesterday was a nightmare. I could hardly move or open my eyes in the morning, kids had to get themselves ready for school and I drove them there in my pjs with sunglasses on trying not to close my eyes against the light. I'm sure anyone who saw me thought I was terribly hungover! Avoided the light all day, vampire-like, and of course this is not good for the SAD. I'm in a bit of a dilemma. No light = misery. Light = migraine. Usually I'm pleased at seeing the sun this time of year but now I'm sitting here with all the blinds drawn against it and daren't go out. Jeez.


Lynn, what you say about the therapist rang some bells. last time I was referred by my GP it was in July, I thought that way I'd most likely get seen before the SAD really kicked in and be prepared for it. I finally got to the top of the list the following May. REALLY helpful! The guy I saw was nice (although I hate the way they sit and wait for you to talk, the silence drags on for ages sometimes and that makes me SO nervous!) but I'm not sure I got anything out of it really, we ended up talking about other stuff than the SAD because it was just not the right time to talk about it and try to devise strategies. He admitted as much himself. So I never followed it up.

I went to the GP a couple of weeks ago because I'd been feeling really down and having loads of negative thoughts, and getting a bit freaked out by it all. He hands me a phone number and says call these people they'll arrange some psychotherapy, they'll decide how urgent you are compared with their other patients based on their assessment over the phone. God, that made it sound like an exam in how suicidal can you sound in one phone call. Well I haven't got around to ringing them because I am full of negative thoughts still, therefore I think they will not take me seriously, think I'm a timewaster, have more important things to do/people to see, either that or I will do my usual thing of not actually being able to say what the problem is and how badly it affects me in case they overreact and put my kids on the social services list. I don't want to get turned down or told to come back in May, neither do I want to be tagged as a parent who can't cope whose kids are at risk. This time I don't even have a letter from the GP to back me up. So why would they listen to me?

However please don't let that put you off Lynn, I think it is worth a try for you, especially if your GP can get you seen more quickly. It may provide strategies for the grieving process more than relieve the SAD but that would still help.

Take care all of you and I hope you have a better weekend. Helen xx

dear all, what a struggle today, i was okay this morning when the sun was out, i had energy, but by afternoon, it began to go dull rain wind, then dark by 3ish, i had to pick up my perscription, but it was such a struggle, to leave the house, i managed to shop in asda was getting so irritated by noise and the amount of shoppers, i did get my massive bar of chocolate, i am so glad to be back home with lights on, lynn, ive been having therapy since april, its helped but sad is so disabling, i could follow things in the longer days but now its impossible, if i manage one task ive achieved something, i do hope all is well, i do love this forum, its a great help to know im not alone, debbie.

Hi came across this forum on google and I looked at it and thought hooray! I'm not the only one. My sad seems to have kicked in later that normal and I hadn't realised until last week. I forgot to use my lamp so will start that asap. I've been feeling flat and wanting to sleep too much. Still feel pretty happy within myself but when I go to do any work I feel all woolly in the head. Food doesn't hold much interest for me. I did think it was something else but its not. Only difficulty is I run my own business so must be motivated but don't want to. Have learnt my lesson tho and have booked a trip away just after Christmas to a sunny warm climate. Just hate feeling like this as 90% for the rest of the year I normally fly round! Help its not just me is it!!

Thanks, I have a SAD lamp but call it my Happy Lamp! Sounds better!!

Bad day. I overslept this morning so did not have time for light therapy. After a really stressful week last week, I'm now feeling fraught, exhausted and drained with no energy for anything....except perhaps hibernating. I was thinking how well I was getting on this winter, keeping upbeat and managing to do most things, even despite a flare-up of my rheumatoid arthritis, and then suddenly, out of the blue, I'm struggling again.
Depressed. :(

hello all, welcome to the forum caroline, you arent alone with dreadful sad, ive managed to get to the shops but felt fed up, cold winds, each afternoon, by 3/4 pm the same symptoms start, tired and no patience, i had my sad or happy lamp on for over 1 hour, i dont like to sit too close to it, i find it helps making the room like daylight, i hope your sad lamp arrives soon lynn, please let us know how you get on. I find the next 2 months the hardest its getting darker and bleaker, earlier and my exhaustion sets in making the smallest of tasks so difficult, I too take vit d, to make up for the lack of sunlight, i am sorry you had a bad day linda, i definatley know the feeling of wanting to hybernate, i have to really force everybit of energy to go outside just to post a letter, everything feels too much of an effort, love debbie.

you mean CHOCOLATE?thats my sunshine food,which i've just demolished 2 cadbury's mini rolls,3 choc digestive and mars bar,and i feel very guilty as i'll be piling the wieght on!!sorry to hear you're having a bad day linda,i do sympathise with you as i've also got arthritis in my spine and neck,thats hard enough to cope with without coping with sad as well.i know its very hard but i try and think of people who are worse than me and consider myself very lucky!it makes me feel guilty about complaining,but its still hard as we can't help how we feel and this sad thing is like a disability and i wish it would just go away!i have a lung disease as well called "bronchiectasis" which is very unpleasant,so having sad on top of everything else is not nice,but i've learned to deal with that as i'm having treatment in hospital for it,but when i looked at the sad website the information said that people with low immune systems are more prone to it,which is me!i'm having a transfusion on 6thdec.hope it helps!nevermind,as i said,there's always someone worse off than me!!yes i know that feeling too debbie of wanting to hibernate,i've not been out for 1week,as i can't work,i don't know how i'd manage to go to work having sad as well,i find it very hard to get up in the mornings!i've been sleeping for 10 and half hours sleep each night,sometimes longer!surely no one needs that ammount of sleep!i feel so ashamed!but as my sister says,my body must need it!!I'll be glad when i get my HAPPY lamp,i hope it makes me have more energy and cut down the ammount of sleep i'm having!i'm going to try and go out on wednesday with my sister,need the fresh air and exercise.very tired now,must go to bed.take care everyone,sorry this is a long one,get carried away on this forum,it's like having a conversation with someone sitting next to me in my sitting room,especially when i haven't seen anyone all day!goodnight and godbless everyone,sweet dreams and i hope you all have a better day tomorrow!take care.xxxxxxx

It's really good to see new members here supporting each other. I'm OK at the moment, had a bad patch in October, but upped my medication and I picked up quite well. I normally find the period November-January really difficult. I can relate to so much of what you are all saying.

I'm usually filling up on carbs, but just under 4 weeks ago I started on the Dukan diet, as I need to lose some weight. It's a long time since I did anything about it and didn't complete the project! I had my gallbladder out earlier in the year, the low fat Dukan diet has made me feel much better. Low carb is tricky, but do-able. Planning is the key.

I'm wondering if the sensible eating is actually contributing to my improved mood.

hi everyone,that diet sounds good purpleivy,i think you've acheived a good goal and i wish i could,mind you,all my friends say i don't need to diet and get annoyed with me when i say i'm going to go on one!i'll definately have to if i keep eating as much chocolate,it's an addiction and comfort eating as well!sorry debbie you are not having a good day,try and think of good things and plan things to look forward to,i know it's very hard when you feel like that.i just wish i could do something to make you all better and make it go away!i can't get interested in xmas at all and i feel awful saying that,i used to love xmas,but since my husband died and this sad thing getting worse,it very hard to get interested in xmas,i wish i could,but thats how i feel!!but i must try and stop the chocolate eating!!went out with my sister today for a few hours,but couldn't wait to get home,very cold and tired!hate the winter!hate feeling like this!!take care everyone,sorry for being miserable yet again!!!

thankyou caroline for being understanding,i'm getting there and try to be stronger each day!i've started setting myself just one task a day and try very hard to acheive it.you have done very well and should be proud of yourself for acheiving that,WELL DONE YOU!we can do anything we want to do if we put our minds to it,one step at a time is good.I miss my husband tremendously each day,but i've have comfort in feeling he's still here watching over me and making me strong and keeping me safe,that helps me through the bad days.oh well,tomorow's another day,we'll see what tomorrow brings!take care.night,night and godbless,sweet dreams everyone xxxxxx

hi everybody, today has been a very hard day, i woke at ten thirty to dull dismal rainy weather, i havent been motivated to do anything, i am going to attempt to do my ironing that is piled sky high, it was virtually dark by three in the afternoon, and i needed my sad lamp on, but still no improvement, i feel im living in a dark room constantly, i keep trying so hard to do something but to no avail, debbie.

Good on you lynn, altho I didn't get up until late today. I still did my shopping, changed my tyres and also had some bad news today (man trouble) however surrounded myself with my network and feel better for it. Small wins today and tomorrow will be better xx

It sounds like you are doing better than me at the moment, PurpleIvy. I am definitely eating the wrong things (mostly chocolate). It's one of those days when I feel like I'm wading through thick mud, feeling tearful and wondering how to cope. Too much stress.

I feel exactly the same debbie,it's just getting worse.I started my first session with my phsycologist last friday,felt very embarrassed as i started crying before i could tell her anything but she was very nice about it,it's embarrassing especially in front of a stranger,but i can't control the crying!even yesterday when i went out with my sister for the first time in ages,and i felt like i was having a panic attack!it just came over me in the middle of town,i felt confused and didn't know where i was or which way to go,and started crying and i don't know why,i felt ridiculous!it only lasted a few minutes but felt longer,it was awful.I have my next session Friday.My sad lamp came today,i havn't even assembled it,too much of an effort even though i know it's important.I'm very tired now,so i'm off to bed.Hope you all have improved by xmas day,but i'll be back on before then.take care,lynn

I am so sad to hear you guys are suffering? It is so hard that people don't understand that it is a real condition for want of a better word and that they think you can just 'pull your self together'. Please don't feel embarrasesed by your reaction to this its normal. The body is a machine and sometimes it doesn't alway fuction right and you have to manage it. Does anyone know what causes sad? I was told its the seratonine (cant spell) levels drop due to the lack of sunlight? I would be interested if anyone else has a take on it? Girls keep your chin up at least you are dealing with it the best you can. So what if you get up at 10! At least you get up!! Best wishes caroline xx

dear lynn, nice to read how you are getting on, citalapram is an antidepressant, i initially took 10mg a day, but the doctor put me on 20mg after it wasnt working, this was mid feb i felt it took a while to lift the depression but i feel better for it, today we had snow i could not bare to venture outside, the cold and dark so early is horrendous, i end up snapping, and get so inpatient. I am so glad you got on with your therapist today, i found my sessions a big help, but nothing seems to lift the constant lethargy, my lamp is so bright too, it helps when i do the housework, or sit at my computer, i am up late due to cant sleep my bodyclock is all over, hope to hear from you and others how they are getting on, love debbie.

hi everyone,

i didn't realise until a few weeks ago that my depressed feelings may be due to suffering sad. so i have made a gp appointment to discuss this and in the meantime i am not giving myself such a hard time about feeling tired and not wanting to do much. it has really messed up my sleeping pattern which also leaves me tired. my body doesn't know whether to sleep or be awake most of the time, it seems confused. i am going to trial a happy lamp to see if it helps and i am also thinking i should try and arrange time abroad in future winters (too late to do it for this year) where i can get a good dose of sunshine in the darkest month of december.

it is at the darkest time of year that i have thoughts about permanently emigrating to sunnier climes (dreams really, not very practical for me at the moment!)i wonder if other people have these thoughts too...

Liza there is no such thing as normal! Everyone has something they struggle with in life. You seem like you are pleasing too many people again and this is putting a strain on yourself. Give yourself a break. You found a routine that worked for you in the past. You had the answer and still have it use it otherwise you will destroy yourself. If you work that stragergy with the people in your life not only will it be better for you but it will help those around you feel like they are helping you. Allow yourself to go to bed early. Ask the kids to take it in turns to look after the pup. Set aside a special night with your partner once a week where you guys to stuff together say Friday or Saturday night where you know you can lay in the next day. Ask you partner to wake you up and put you to bed if you fall asleep. All your answers are in what you wrote - read it again and see the answers. Good luck xx

hi liza and everyone,yes,that's very good advice that Caroline has given you,I agree with her you and your new partner need that special time together doing things with each other,you can't do everything on your own,the kids must help you too,is your partner understanding about your sad?he sounds like he does.you must pace yourself especially at this time of year!good luck.thanks for replying to me debbie about the citalapram.I hope i don't need them,as I'm onloads of tablets as ut is and don't want to take anymore!I've used the HAPPY lamp for 3days now and I'm happy to say that it must be helping because I'm feeling much better today and not so tired or tearful and don't feel so confused!however,not had time to use it today and I won't have time tomorrow either,as my niece is coming up from london and taking me to see legally blonde at sunderland empire,so i'm looking forward to that.have any of you guys managed to get organised for xmas yet???I havn't!got the tree up but thats all I've done with not feeling well,it's really knocked me back,i miss my husband and its very hard without him,but i know i have to soldier on and deal with it.Well,i'm trying to do things to help myself in dealing with the s.a.d. part of my life,i don't see my phsycologist till 13th jan.seems agaes away!!hope you all have a lovely xmas and all the very best for 2012 just in case i don't have chance to come on the forum before weekend1take care everyone.lots of love lynn xxxxxx

hello chums

I thought I had SAD,until I realised that the symptoms were essentially the same as BP2.

I wouldnt say I am cured - but I am on the right treatment. (just to make clear, I am not selling a product).

see you in a couple of weeks, or you can email me on sftdbtrs@hotmail.com

love yourself, you deserve it :)

dear petite, welcome to the forum, i am sorry you also have sad, i feel so different when the sun shines, yesterday newyears day, it was so dull like always i felt so lethargic, just couldnt motivate myself, then this morning it was so bright, i felt so happy, i do have a sad lamp and use it but i find it doesnt help me, i cant compare it to the feelings i get when the sun is out, i too am on antidepressants. Today i managed to go around the shops without getting irritated by the dark or rain, which has been the norm since early december, it was bright, this winter season has been alot duller than normal so my sad in general has been longer, debbie.

Hi all, hope everyone is coping ok and Happy New Year! I visited the forum early last year, it always seems to be late December through to March when SAD knocks me on my back. Can anyone recommend a light box that is strong and effective? I bought one from Argos last year by the maker Rio but it doesn't seem to have much effect.

As for the illness the symtoms always seem to be the same:- sadness, anxiety (breathlessness and fear) tired eyes and occasional blurry vision. Bizarrely i actually feel the physical sadness in my cheeks and can feel my mouth drooping!! Hence the phrase down in the mouth i guess. Does anyone else have similair symtoms? Anyone else think this year has been particularly harsh, as its been so cloudy and dull? And don't worry girls, as a man 've put a tonne of weight on eating chocolate! It may actually be more than a tonne!! Take care, please respond. thanks.

It is so good to find this forum and realise I am not alone, I am having a bad day and your comments are helping me muster the energy to get up. I've suffered with SAD for years, January is my worst month, for the last 2 years I have saved annual leave to be away for the whole month so was not affected. I am now self employed so cannot afford such luxuries this year and I'm really struggling. In my head I am able to tell myself that my world is fine, but there is definitely something chemical that does not allow my emotions listen to sense. A massive down point for me this year is that I met someone in Nov and it was all great to start with, first time I have really liked someone in a long time and I'm nervous my depressive nature is going to ruin any chance of us making a go of a relationship. I hate wasting days and wishing my life away, but I am also counting down the days til March when I can get back to my normal energetic, positive self. Thanks to everyone on here for making me feel less alone

dear all, glad to see the sad lamp is helping you lynn, mine is 10,000 lux and lights the bedroom up, also nice to hear from other people, welcome nic and sonofsunshine1, my worst symtom is lack of energy, not being able to start or finish tasks, which in the spring seem so effortless, also getting to the shops, i do agree this winter has been so dull and wet, today has been so bad, i managed to get to town, but was so agravated by the wind and then dark started to fall by 3ish, due to the weather, i felt so down and couldnt be bothered, headed home, to stop this agravation ive got the supermarket to deliver my weekly shopping until spring. I am so glad this forum is here, its good to hear from other suffers of sad, its like a little community, love debbie.

hi nic, its annoying when the doctor says sad doesnt exist, i was lucky my doctor understood, i was put on antidepressants and ive finished a course of cbt, which was helpful, but nothing ive tried can stop me feeling so tired, today has been another struggle, i could hardly do anything, little chores seemed a large mountain to do, i bought a lamp on ebay new from a buisness seller, its 10,000 lux, i find it okay but it doesnt replace the sunlight in the lighter nights for me personally, i have used it a few times in the morning, but cant get out of my tiredness, i suppose we are all different with what works for us, but if you do invest in one, 10,000 lux is recommended, to be of benefit. Love debbie.

dear nic, i am so pleased my advice was of help, i think i may also try to have a go at channel 4 revolution sounds really good, i am so sorry your relationship ended, sad is so difficult without added upset, ive managed a few tasks today managed to get into town, but still felt fed up with the drizzle and cold, the darkness seems endless this winter take care debbie.

Hi
How do we cope with tiredness in the afternoons ? I am ok at work, get a little sluggish around 4pm then am ok til i leave at 5.30pm, home for 6, ok until 7pm and then bam it hits me hard ... I become tired and tearful very quickly every single evening :(

I have found that I don't feel tired in the afternoons in the same way since I went onto the low carb diet. A low fat protein meal at lunchtime keeps hunger pangs at bay and keeps my blood sugar levels constant.

hi everyone, its a real struggle this winter, last week it was lovley and sunny be it cold, but i still felt so full of energy started to shop more for my spring wardrobe, then later this week bam, back to fed up, tired, today, i was out in town, and it started sleeting, windy and so cold i began to get so irritable, i got saturated, how i feel now compared to last week is worlds apart, i cant be bothered to think about spring, just gloomy dark days/nights, does anyone else feel this in the bad weather, it certainly effects my mood, i have noticed the nights are slowly drawing out, i feel has if im climbing a never ending mountain, im so glad of this forum, debbie,

hi nic thankyou for your ideas, what a good idea using suncream to make you feel like its summer, i will try that, i have a nearly full bottle from last year, the other evening i had my halolgen heater on because it was so cold, the warmth and yellow glow made me feel like summer sun, so i can do my self tan, pretend its summer sun, so thankyou for that, today has been another long struggle wind rain and cold, i had to face the outdoors due to shopping i got so irritated, i feel all my energy zapped i cant wait till spring, take care, debbie.

Neens, I love your idea about potted bulbs, I was only saying earlier today I can't wait until I can start buying daffodils again, I'm definitely going to a garden centre tomorrow to get some, thanks.

Also, good to know about national hug day, also sending a big virtual hug to you all.

Debbie, how are you getting on with the suncream idea, feeling more summery by scent?

Five days on from my last post, and things are really not good. I have had some health problems thrown at me recently which are causing a good deal of worry, and worsening my depression, and although I have upped my light therapy sessions, it doesn't seem to be doing enough; I'm exhausted and feeling panicky. Just wondering if I should perhaps add in some antidepressants. They were offered by the GP just the other day, but I refused as I get side-effects when I stop them. Except for the first two winters I had SAD (before I was diagnosed) I have managed without. Is it worth it now? As the GP pointed out, the days are gradually lengthening, but that seems like cold comfort as January and February are always the worst months for me. But then again, by the time they kick in and begin to have some effect, I could be over the worst. Can anyone offer help with this dilemma? - Not sure what I should do.

hi linda, and nic, so sorry to hear you are struggling linda,i hope your health problems clear soon, i know how awful this sad can be, i was put on citalapram last january after having the worst sad ever, depression panic attacks over everything, i personally have found they help a bit, and i finished a course of cbt in december, so i try to use what i was taught to help combat sad, but the misserable days get too much has i mentioned in my other posts, i managed to do my laundry today, but that was it, tommorow i am going to buy some spring bulbs has neens suggested, also use my suncream, i managed to book a break for june, although in uk, its a light month, bliss, in a nice lodge, so that has cheered me up slightly, planning summer, i find january and feb a real hard slog, spring is so near yet feels so far, i am having difficulty sleeping, hence on here at silly hours, but love all my new found friends, debbie,

Hi there Debbie, Nic and Geordie Girl, and thanks so much for your supportive messages - it does make a difference. Debbie, we have booked a break too - but not until October - but maybe a late holiday will help next winter.
We are so far north here in the Scottish Islands that spring comes a bit later here than the rest of the UK, so we won't see the daffodils for a while yet. In the meantime, I'm trying not to expect too much of myself. At least the sun is shining here today. Thanks to you all.

Hi lovely ladies :)

Linda, I'm sorry to hear you're feeling so bad just now. I can imagine that being so far North must be very bleak. I'm sorry I can't advise you about using anti-depressants to treat SAD, but it's worth considering if other things are not helping. But as you say, they might take a while to start working and you'd want to ask your doctor how long you have to stay on them. Debbie's suggestion of some cognitive behavioural therapy sounds good... perhaps you could get a book on it for the general principles?

So jealous you've got your hols booked! Definitely a lovely idea. :)

LCHerts, I have to prise myself away from the biscuit tin! And the croissants, bagels, pasta, potatoes.... nightmare! But well done for having a go and taking your walks... congratulate yourself on what you have done well and try not to beat yourself up on the days you don't do so well - as you say, there's tomorrow :)

Nic, glad you got your bulbs... hope they give you weeks of lovely flowers.

I bought a bright summery corally-pink belt for a fiver in next on Sat, and a matching nail polish today... little things! ;)

Aww, how sweet you are Debbie! :)

I am from Leeds originally Debbie - in Newcastle now, but I really feel for you with that drizzly climate!

Anyway, I'm just stopping by quickly as I've just got to work and I know that it's grotty weather for pretty much everyone today, so I'll be thinking of you all. I hope that you can get outside, if you can, just for some fresh air and to move your body (I put the heating on before I go out, and it's such a feeling of luxury when I get back in to the warmth on a day like this!)... Take care all. :)

Dear Debbie

Something I have become interested in since seeing Dr Brian Cox presenting Stargazing last week on the BBC is just that.....Stargazing. Have a realy good little book for beginners to Astronomy and have been looking at the night sky now for the past few nights - quite amazing to think that there are all those other stars/planets/galaxies out there - a very peaceful and absorbing pastime. Am going to buy some binoculars as they are recommended for beginners rather than going for a telescope. Bit dreary in Leeds here today but hey ho work to do and life goes on - keep smiling - Geordie Girl :)

Hi Debbie,
Sorry you're feeling so down; some days are worse than others. Even though it was actually sunny here today (for once!) it didn't really lift my spirits. But it's nearly the end of January, so there's light at the end of the tunnel - it's just hard to see it sometimes. Everyone says it's been a long, horrible winter, but perhaps it means we'll have a good summer?
(By the way, my OH hails from Manchester too, so we know it fairly well (Eccles, where t' cakes come from!)
Take care, Debbie, and hang on in there.

Aw, so sorry you've had an awful day Debbie. I know it's a real nightmare when it's so drizzly and dull all day, and when it has been for a few days in a row. Does your light lamp give you any relief? x

thankyou neens for your lovley message, it means so much, i dont find the lamp works for me, i have it on for 1hour its 10,000 lux, but for some reason it doesnt make much of a difference, had it since october, ive tried to cheer myself up by being on the computer, and trying to think about my wedding this may, has my partner reminds me, it will be nicer then, i hope tommorow is drier i want to go to town to buy some more flowers, hope everyone else is okay, and you to neens, and linda, love debbie.

Hi everyone

How're you all doing today? LOL Maggie, love the Weetabix suggestion! Nom nom... :)

Debbie - I'm gutted for you to hear that the light therapy doesn't help you. Do you have a dawn simulator too? What happens if you use it for an hour twice a day - is it still no help? Has your doctor given you any other suggestions what you can do? I think you said you had some CBT a while ago? You're getting married in May? Fabulous! Just keep thinking about that, and how gorgeous a day it will be. :D

Today was a typical day for a SAD attack for me - dull, dreary, cold and wet! And coupled with PMT - oh joy!!!! I dragged myself out to do some weights at the gym, and thankfully felt a lot better for it... my forage into the biscuit jar felt totally justifiable afterwards! :)

Maggie, I considered the visor before I bought the Zip; I thought it would be good to be able to get on and do things while it was on, but it's good to hear your feedback on it. Thinking of you all x

Hi everyone

Well today the sun is shining and feel much better. Have to say when have a bad day cannot think straight just want to curl up and hibernate. Definitely have the eating problem - carbs and sweets and find it very difficult to control. It is not that I am hungry just have this compulsion to eat!! Oh well the weather should be improving soon so lets hope for the best

Hi, Annie!
So sorry to hear you've been poorly.I have suffered from depression, SAD and stress, I think because I'm just that sort of person. Some people get psoriasis, excema or asthma when life is getting on top of them. My guess is that people like you and I get low, at times so low that we can hardly function.
For me the symptoms are distinguishable between the different conditions, but there are a lot of similarities. I was really desperate a fortnight ago, and upped my light time to 2 forty minute sessions a day, plus ALWAYS having my lumie ? Bright Light (tall trianguar tower thing) on when I'm at the computer. I'm lucky in that I'm retired, so have the time, but have come to the conclusion that regular light sessions are a MUST for me to function in the winter and have therefore built it into my daily life. If you look back in the Forum, you'll see I use a Visoras well.The fact that you get bad tempered, that is improved following light therapy says it all, in my book!Why don't you see if you can get a reasonably priced light on eBay and keep it at work, so you can have light on tap as it were at work.
Nothing else has really changed in my life during the last fortnight except that I've had more light, so I can't help feeling for me there is something in it.I certainly have a lot more energy, which is the one thing I really lack when SAD is at it's worst.Is it worth a try? Do email me personally if you think it might help to talk about how you feel directly to someone.In my other professional life I was a nurse (incl. psychiatric nursing) and a later a Home Visiting Adviser for Citizen's Advice Bureau, so whatever else, am a good listener!
Maggie.

Neens
I couldn't agree more about spectrums; I nearly put something about them in my last post, but decided it was already quite long enough! I have a grandson who is suffering from Asperger's spectrum symptoms and a daughter who has been diagnosed Bi-polar spectrum. It seems to me a big step forward in classifying various conditions to have introduced the ides of "spectrums", especially those affecting mental health. So often people have traits/symptoms that are in common with the full blown disease, but definitaly do not count as a full blown case. A bit like a mild case of measles or mumps! Such a description absolutely fits my 2 relatives and I'm sure that SAD has a definite spectrum too.We do not all the suffer the same symptoms, or to the same degree, but at the same time, we are defnitly not well.
I suspect because there is no conclusive test for SAD, any more than for CFS, it is easier for people to dismiss as "All in the mind". What do others feel?
Maggie

Sorry for the multiple posts; when I'm writing from my mobile it seems to post twice, or even three times!

Maggie, I agree with what you say; some people can be really insensitive and ignorant about SAD, as they can about many conditions. I've had someone tell me before that I'm being silly and 'just need to get on with it, like the rest of us do, and as humans have been doing for centuries'... on this occasion I didn't even try to explain, as sometimes people hold the view that mental illness of any type doesn't exist and they won't be convinced. I feel sad about that, as if they ever had a problem, I think they'd be the least likely to seek help. Have any of you ever had this kind of experience?

Actually, tonight I'm really excited because I'm setting up my new blog about SAD; I'll post a link to it here when I'm done, and have submitted my first post (might be a couple of days). I'd love to hear what you think. :)

Take care all. x

Hi Debbie

I was thinking of you all on Saturday; looking out of the window at the hailstones and grim sky. Had to force myself out of the door as I needed to go shopping too.

Glad you're feeling a bit better; so pleased that your daffodils and the birds returning have helped cheer you up! :)

I'd like some of your snow, Debbie! - Makes everything seem brighter. I'm up late too, but trying to force myself to get out and about a bit more. Interesting that you say you find February is the final struggle; I find March decidedly unstable too, and dare not stop my light therapy until April - but that might just be because we are further north. Take care of yourself, and enjoy your daffodils.

hi linda and Lcherts,i will post some snow to you linda, its actually melting now, i agree it does make things look alot brighter, today has been quite bright, so ive felt alot better, and i managed to walk to the local shops something ive not done since last year, oct time i ams so sorry you are struggling Lcherts, yes you think we are moving on to spring then we get this awful snow, i find i am still up so late, 10am, even 11.0am on sunday, i keep looking at my daffs on the window ledge and trying to remind myself spring is around the corner, behit a very long corner, take care debbie.

Hey sorry to hear you guys are struggling. I've took my own advice this year and have just come back from a long trip where it was sunny. It lifted me up and I felt amazing. I've been back a week and SAD is starting to kick in again. Which is sad :(. I refuse to give in and have made myself get up and do work, I realise I don't have it half as bad as you guys and wish that it would go away (for everyone!). Do you best guys and wish you all well xx

Raising awareness you need to pick the right medium and right time of year. We need a plan! Something that can start in Aug/Sept going over to Autumn local paper to do an article about how and what SAD is, local radio I heard an interview on County sounds about 4-5 years ago from a lady that suffered with it and it was quite enlightening. Does anyone know a GP with a keen interest in SAD, would lumie sponsor an event to raise awareness/money for SAD there must be a charity for it if not can one be set up? Err what else local TV news to run an spot on it. Set up a website where all these things can be advertised from for want of a better word. Do we know any famous people who suffer with it and would they want to promote SAD? I ask the questions and will be happy to help if there are others out there who want to go down this route?!

Hi ladies

How're you all doing? I don't know why but I didn't get notifications for your last few comments!

Caroline and Maggie - I share your frustration re lack of awareness, and well done purpleivy for doing interviews! There are a lot more articles about winter blues now, but SAD tends to be mentioned fleetingly, as a worse form.

I've been busy this last fortnight, getting The Light Room blog up and running. I wanted to wait til I had a few posts before I shared it with you. Here it is: http://www.sadlightblog.info. I would really appreciate your feedback on it, and please subscribe if you find you like it :)

I think doing some more awareness work would be great - maybe as you say we could team up with SADA and Lumie.

Hahaha, yay Debbie! It's amazing the difference a sunny day makes, isn't it? Thanks Debbie - Looking forward to hearing what you think. X

Thanks Debbie! I've emailed you back :)

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Have a great day! :)