Help please

Hi Sue.
Not to make light of how you're feeling, but thank you for making me smile. I was reading your post, sympathizing with you and thinking of supportive things to say and then I got to the part where you have lovely pets. I couldn't stop laughing because I can really relate : ) During the winter I take so much solace in my cats. They're so much easier to interact with than humans. A big part of S.A.D. is social withdrawal. We shrink away from people and have difficulty making conversation, etc. But it's so easy to just pet our cats and dogs and nuzzle them and feel a little better.
I always feel less lonely with them around... I also can relate to all the symptoms you're having--anxiety, exhaustion, feeling sick and isolated. I hate going out and have to force myself to do the errands and shopping. My biggest nightmare is when someone knocks on my door unexpectedly. When my mum or friends just "pop round", I cringe. I can't possibly imagine how I'm going to get through a conversation with them and just want to curl up and be left alone. But then when I am alone, I feel lonely. It's sooooo frustrating! Sound familiar? I do have good days occasionally and even enjoy a visit sometimes, but I never know how I'm going to be feeling ahead of time. I could be fine one day and then miserable for the next three...You asked about lightboxes...I use the Sunlight Jr. from Sunbox.com. It definitely takes the edge off. I'm at least able to get out of bed in the mornings which is a huge help. It doesn't send me into instant recovery or anything but it's a life raft to get me through.

Hope this helps. Hang in there.
You're not alone.
Love, Koko